I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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