the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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