Soap is not a condiment
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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