We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
