even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
