did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
