singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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