that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
