why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
