Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
