It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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