whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
