i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize