So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
