I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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