I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
