Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I intend to get homeless drunk
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
