I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
