Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My feet surprised me
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