I skipped work to stalk him.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
