u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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