i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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