69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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