So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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