Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize