imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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