fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
All I want is dick and wine.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
