I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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