Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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