I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
