if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
