i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
