I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
