He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
