we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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