After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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