They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
