Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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