so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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