apparently the secret to your success is patron
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
