Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
