so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
