fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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