Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
