So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
