Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
