how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
