dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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