I think my vagina is haunted
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
