I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
